An Awkward State of Being

Well, it has been a few crazy weeks here in El Salvador, at least on the Peace Corps side of things. Besides getting ready for school to start, planning my art classes and organizing some ideas for the near future of my service, I have unfortunately started to think more about my future here.

(cacti exist here!)
Starting beginning of January, we received more updates on the “security situation” in El Salvador. This included calling an All Volunteer Conference on security at the end of the month with our regional director for Central America as well as other senior staff in Washington, D.C. (our headquarters). If this did not make me worried enough about what would happen and what would change, D.C. has already requested the group who is about to finish their service to COS (Close of Service) three weeks before their official date.
Not only that, but just a few days ago, my training groups’ sister group (they came a year before us, but the same program…Youth Development) was told they need to COS no later than April 30th, 2012. Their service was supposed to finish in September. I would say 6 months is a little early. Of course, this makes us all suspicious. It is during the service of a volunteer that your last year really is when you are in the middle of all your projects, programs, and everything you spent your first year working towards doing.

(my friend while walking home one day)
This means by the end of April, El Salvador will have around 40 volunteers in country. When I arrived 6 months ago, there were 130. For a country with one of the lowest E.T. (Early Termination, going home before 27 months is over) rates and highest extension of service rates in Peace Corps, I would say this is huge. Plus, our “evaluation period” will not take place till AFTER the conference, so I am not exactly sure what they plan on telling us. There have been suggestions to change our sites to “group” us in closer locations for transportation purposes, which I am still not sure how that will take place. It’s hard to move sites once you have lived there a year or six months and you have to start all over again somewhere else. Sarah is a volunteer near me about of our sister group, she is an incredible support for me as I am to her and if she has to leave in April; I will basically be the only volunteer in my entire department. When I first got here, there were 14 volunteers.

There has been all kinds of rumors floating around if PC Washington will close the program in El Salvador and other worries that we will not have the freedom to travel or will be more restricted to our sites. I personally feel very safe where I live, but I know not all volunteers feel this way. For now, all of us just have to wait it out until the conference starts on January 30th. I do partly believe that yes, this is a very dangerous country, but us as volunteers are not targeted, if anything, avoided. But in many ways aren’t Peace Corps volunteers supposed to go where others cannot? Aren’t we supposed to be in distant places and that need our help? I did not sign up for this to go to the Bahamas or France for two years, I am here because I want to be here, I love my community, I feel safe here and I have NO desire to leave. Unfortunately, we have already lost three people from my training group in the last two weeks (I respect their decision to do what was right for them), and I fear they will not be the last. I wish I just knew if I would be able to complete my service here or if not be able to plan what happens next, because as of right now I am still in the in-between. I will keep you updated on what happens at the conference, I can only hope for the best and try to keep positive, but in this kind of situation things are sometimes easier said than done.

Teachers hitching a ride with the health promoters to the bus stop.

my kitties, even they are always dirty in the campo.