(time for frijoles!)
Within a few days, I
will be in San Salvador, getting in a cab, going through the airport, checking
luggage and on a plane back to the States.
I honestly can say I
had zero plans to return to the United States at all during my service. But,
after 6 months of El Salvador, then 9 months, hitting my one year (oh and Mike
proposing to my best friend Rifka), it did not seem like such a bad idea. Many have
asked, “Are you even allowed to go back?” Yes, in fact, I am a human being and
can use my vacation days to my disposal. My vacation back “home” is very much
needed at this point in my service. Most volunteers get to a point of
frustration (or multiple moments). No
one is attending your meetings, people are excited at first, and then lose
interest or motivation to do or show up for things. Communication issues being
one of the many concerns, perhaps also with grants, prices, budgets, rules,
community contribution, host family, the list goes on and on. I cannot remember ever being at such a point
in my life where I felt so frustrated, annoyed, and just plain felt like a
failure (okay maybe post-graduation when I had no job). Things here take SO
LONG to get one thing accomplished. Getting “in” with the community takes 6
months (at least) to gain trust in order to start working. Why would people
want to work with a gringa they do not even know? Worrying about
transportation, physically visiting someone’s house to invite them to a meeting
or training (a 45 minute hike there and back), if they are working, well you
just have to come back another day or wait 3-4 hours until they return. In the
United States, you call or send an e-mail.
(repairing our road...or putting more rocks on it...)
My hair do one day, my host sister Erika did it. ;-)
Last week, I reached a
point where I was so discouraged and frustrated, I broke down in front of my
host family, and I just lost it. For those who know me, this doesn’t really
happen. I have never been a crier and overall am pretty cheerful and happy kind
of gal. As a volunteer, you tend to hear more success stories than failures.
One volunteer helped built a school out of plastic bottles. One Volunteer
helped built/pave a road in her community. So-in-so helped start a women’s and
youth group. Fortunately, my host family is wonderful. My two host sisters
(both younger than me) help me while I cried away how I was not doing anything
in La Loma and I do not have the support for the things I wanted to do as a
volunteer.
(Lilan learning to dye t-shirts with flower petals)
(Lilan and Joselinne in Ataco during a "camp trip" to look at other stores that sell merchandise)
I decided to give up
on the stove project in my community at this point in time, in order to receive
the funds to help lower the price per family per stove, but I need to grant and
number of people/names/etc by August 15th, seeing as I return from
the states the 8th, back to La Loma by the 9th or 10th,
it just was not going to happen. Many people in my community are so used to
getting lots of things for free or low cost, why buy something? NGO’s come and
just give things away, many times not knowing who is in need. There are so many
other things I can do with my time here. This week cheered me up because I
attended an art training specifically for youth over 18 and under 25 years old.
Youth out of school, want to work, are creative and just need the materials to
start up and ideas to get their minds moving. I brought my host sister,
Joseline and our good friend Lilian who pretty much has magical hands when it
comes to art. Some people just catch on to things so easily, she is definitely
crafty girl. It made me realize that I probably will not do a “BIG” project
during my next year I have left, but I can still make small differences with
individuals. After learning and practicing different jewelry all day, after
dinner they continued until late making new things and trying new concepts.
(toasting coffee beans outside on the comal)
(All us girly PCV's at the art training)
Needless to say, I am
VERY excited to return to the states, see some wonderful family and friends, and
share what my life is like here in El Salvador. Overall, I think it will remind
me why I am here and how much I still have left to do. J
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